That didn’t go well.

I was feeling so motivated about my last post that I woke up the next morning, strapped on my running gear, harnessed up River, and started down my street for an early morning run.  I normally have a set path and that involves crossing the street before I start moving, but on this morning there were a pair of dogs barking and jumping around in their yard and I didn’t want River to get distracted.  Instead I stayed on my side of the street and was mentally deciding whether to stop at 2 miles or push to hit that third when I got a very, very abrupt wake-up.  Meaning I fucking ate it.

My toe caught on a broken piece of sidewalk and I fell so hard, so fast, that I wasn’t even able to put an arm out to try and break my fall.  I’m not a ninja or anything but I have abnormally quick reaction times due to a weird childhood (my dad really wanted me to be a spy.  Seriously.) and this all happened so quickly it was over before I realized I was falling.  I landed with most of my weight on my face, the rest going pretty hard onto my knees.  I actually felt my two front teeth break but didn’t register what had happened until I was crawling to my knees and saw them shattered on the cement.  UGH IT IS SO GROSS TO EVEN WRITE BECAUSE NOW I’M THINKING ABOUT IT AGAIN.

I don’t know exactly how I hurt my hand but it’s scraped on my palm, just under my pinky on the inside of the joint, and is so deep the bone was about a layer away from being exposed.  I broke a bone in my hand (a hairline fracture in the bone that goes from my wrist to my pinky).  Knees are both badly bruised and scraped, and because of the way I fell I seem to have messed the joints up (they keep popping).

I have on many occasions had nightmares about breaking my teeth out so it was a little surreal.  I was weirdly calm, I just petted River for a second because she was upset, then turned around and walked home.  My poor husband was dead asleep (he works afternoons/evenings so he usually sleeps until about 11) and I had to wake him up to help me make arrangements.  He said it was the most horrifying and heartbreaking moment of our marriage to wake up to me standing there sobbing and covered in blood.  Apparently he thought I’d been hit by a car.

I did the only reasonable thing which was to call my mother and bawl hysterically while Jake made phone calls to see if any of our friends could recommend a dentist to get me in immediately.  Our friend Brian went on Yelp and found a clinic who was able to work me in within an hour of the call and it was a god-send.  The dentist is named Dr. Stephen Calendine at Associates in Dental Care.  He was sweet natured, gentle, and kept me on gas the entire time so I wouldn’t have the anxiety attack I was very clearly bordering on.  I left an hour and a half later with my teeth repaired so well that my work almost didn’t believe I’d had work done.

I haven’t gone running since.  It’ll be a full week tomorrow.  I’m saying it’s because my knees and hand are still messed up and because it’s so cold but I’ll be honest, I’m scared.  I got hurt pretty badly but it could have been way worse.  Dr. Calendine was amazed that I hadn’t knocked my teeth up into my gumline when I fell which is a whole new set of nightmares.  I could have easily broken my knees or my arm.  River could have gotten away from me when I fell, run into traffic, and gotten hit.  I know I’m letting the “what ifs” and fear take control but holy shit there were a lot of them this time.  I’m clumsy by nature but this was a new low.

I’m going to let my body heal before I go out again.  Right now I can barely close my hand without blinding pain and my knees pop every time I straighten my legs so I think I’d do more harm than good by forcing myself out there, but I’m going to do it.  I’m going to go outside and run and I’m going to be absolutely fine because one fall does not define my life.  In the meantime I’m going to eat properly and do whatever I can, like planks and crunches.  I tried free weights but my hand is still too messed up to hold them.

Jake is super loving all the people quietly asking me if I’m in an “unsafe situation”.  I think it’s wonderful that they’re alert and concerned but Jake would literally jump off a bridge before he’d hurt me in any way so it’s a little insulting to him.

Blarg.  I hate serious posts.  I’m not a serious person and it feels so weird to whine in public but I think it’s important to be honest about what I’m dealing with.  My fucking gums are bruised and I had broken concrete ground into my face.  I actually went back a couple of days later and looked to see if I could find my teeth since I didn’t pick them up.  They were gone.  I like to think a squirrel has them.

I was going to post pictures of my wounds but my husband has informed me that ain’ nobody wants to see that.  Instead I will post my favorite picture of River in her Halloween costume, Dobby the Free Elf.

River is a Free Elf!
River is a Free Elf!

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